Can you hear the drums....

Many years ago Abba asked “Can you hear the drums Fernando?” Well, had they asked last season Fernando may have replied “Of course I can, I’m in my leisure suite with its integrated audio set up with iPod and iPhone docking system. Now go and get me a drink from one of my four wine fridges, oh and do me a favour love, lower them seventeen telly’s for me, I can’t hear the water burbling over my rock hewn waterfall by the indoor swimming pool”.
I’m able to imagine this scene of domestic bliss due to the fac t Fernando Torres’s “luxurious and incredibly generous accommodation” has come on the market at the price of £2,750,000.

Follow the link below and you'll find the estate agents ad:

Half a mile from Woolton village (probably a quarter of a mile if you take the size of the garden into account) the house features what the estate agent describes as 5/6 bedrooms on the first floor, one can only guess the vagueness of the exact number is down to he or she being exhausted. After walking around the rest of house and looking into the separate soft drinks fridge and finding a separate chilled beer dispenser (whether this is a relaxed person whose sole job is to wait until Fernando fancied a bevy isn’t specified).
As I mentioned there is a pool with mood lighting (I’m guessing this doesn’t mean a lava lamp) and the house features more granite and real wood than Mount Rushmore.
Also mentioned is a panic room (which may have come in handy this season, as every time he has gotten the ball in the box he appears to have panicked) and just in case the other six toilets (would have a footballer have that many books?) isn’t enough there is plumbing on the second floor to chuck in another (I’m guessing the sound of that running water on the cliff by the pool does keep ones prostrate busy).
The steam room, which seats twelve (no more, no less) is next to the spa (the sort where you get your feet rubbed, not the one where you buy out of date bread (I assume)) opens onto a terrace “arguably one of the most impressive in South Liverpool”. Somewhat different to the derelict terraces that surround the stadium that once rang with his name.
The gardens, including the Mediterranean one, stretch to almost half an acre (for 2.75 million I’m guessing you could buy Greece at the moment) and the whole thing is serviced by two remote control double gates (both of which were left swinging like saloon doors when Roman came calling).
All in all a snip at 2.75 mil... well it is a snip when you are on £200,000 a week, on that money he could buy it off himself and have it paid for by the time the next football season starts in September.
Nice to know what a Liverpool fans season ticket money gets you.