The Joke.

I posted this on a forum today and it made some people there laugh, it's a true story of someone trying to remember a joke. Beware, there is a fair bit of swearing in there...

My mate Paul was in the pub chatting to my other mate Alan:

Alan: "I went to Jamaica for Christmas"

Paul: "Jamaica?"

Alan: "Yeah, it was nice"

Paul: "No no... you are meant to say "she went on her own""

Alan: "Who?"

Paul: "Your wife"

Alan: "I'm not married"

Paul: "No... its a joke, you say you made your wife go there"

Alan: "Where?"

Paul: "Jamaica"

Alan: "I'm not married, and to be honest it was more of a lads holiday"

Paul: "No no... you say you went to Jamaica and..."

Alan: "I did"

Paul: "No! You say you went to Jamaica..."

Alan: "I did! Fucking hell!"

Paul: "No! Shut up! Hang on... you say you went to erm... no hang on... your wife went to Jamaica and..."

Alan: "I'm not fucking married what are you on about? I'm not even seeing anyone! I went with Terry!"

Paul: "No no! Wait... hang on... let me get this straight... You say you went to Jamaica and... no hang on... that's not right is it?"

Alan: "I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!"

Paul: "Hang on! fucking hell! Let me think... You went with... or did you take your wife..."

Alan "I'm not..."

Paul: "Ssssh... you went and I say...hang on... I'll ring Tony, he does a bot of comedy he'll know"

Me (sitting watching tv at home, phone rings): Hello?

Paul: Tony? If I say I went to Jamaica what do you say?

Me: Did you?

Paul: No! I'm with Alan, listen... if I say I went to Jamaica what do you say?"

Me: I thought he went with Terry?

Paul: No!!!!! Fucking hell! What's fucking wrong with you people? (sound of Alan in background "It's not our fault you aren't making any sense")

Me: Is that Alan?

Paul: Yes... but listen, if I say I went to Jamaica...

Me: Are you in Jamaica now?

Paul: No! Oh fück it! Fucking hell! Listen! Okay okay... if I say I went to Jamaica... do I say my wife went to Jamaica or me?"

Me: You aren't married, are you getting married? Jamaica is nice for a honeymoon but it wouldn't be my first choice mate"

Paul: No! FUCKING HELL! SHUT UP! FUCKING HELL! LISTEN TO ME...

Me: alright! fucking hell calm down!

Paul: I AM FUCKING CALM! FUCKING HELL!

Alan: (in background): You aren't fucking calm

Paul: Sssssssh! Fucking hell... If... just pretend... if I said I went... no hang on... my wife went to Jamaica... what would you say?"

Me: Are you talking to me?

Paul: YES!

Me: Is this that joke? Are you trying to tell me a joke?

Paul (Relieved): Yeas! (to Alan) he's got it... he knows!

Alan (in background): Got what?

Me: You say "my wife went to the Caribbean" you fucking idiot

Paul: Before or after Jamaica?

I then hung up.

We still laugh about it years later and Paul still gets wound up about it.